Phil Sim

Web, media, PR and… footy

Apple sues “meat boy” for revealing trade secrets

UPDATE: iPod ‘ear bud’ headphones cause hearing loss. Apple recommends users stick raisins in their ears instead.

 Apple has launched legal preceedings against a 14 year-old-boy for revealing it’s plans to launch edible MP3 players before the official announcement at the upcoming MacWorld.

Big breaking news at ABC Hawaii today was the fact that a 14 year-old boy received a piece of meat instead of the iPod he was supposed to be getting for Christmas.

Apple is understood to furious that the boy and his mother have gone public with the news before Steve Jobs got the chance to announce the i-Pod edible at MacWorld.

Squash’ sources reveal that Apple may now well shelve the edible i-Pod plans because Jobs thinks the potential impact of the announcement may be lost.

We understand Apple was to launch three new i-Pods at MacWorld. i-Pod Meat, i-Pod Oreo and of course the Apple i-Pod Apple.

Squash can also reveal that all three new i-Pods featured a new revolutionary multi-interface design allowing you to stick any form of cable, including USB, Firewall, SCART, Serial Ports, power cables, etc into the new i-Pods.

“Hell, you could stick your old fella into these things, if that’s what you wanted,” said the Apple source, although it is believed such an action would break the i-Pod Oreo and would generally void warranties.

Asked if the new edible i-Pods actually played music, Squash’ source confirmed that: “Hell, no, it’s just a piece of food in an i-Pod box. But that’s what makes this concept so revolutionary. Who says that an MP3 player actually has to play music.”

“We felt that Apple defined the MP3 category and therefore, as such, we could be a bit more liberal in defining the boundaries of the market. It’s such a shame that this innovation is now going to be binned because of the reckless and illegal behaviour of a couple of press-whoring attention-seekers.”

Squash’ lawyer mates reckon the Apple legal action has flimsy merits, but noted that hasn’t stopped the company before.

Filed under: Piss take

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