Phil Sim

Web, media, PR and… footy

Who’s a hypocrite now????

Can you spell the word “hypocrite” boys and girls? Don’t you love all these try-hard B-Listers like Squash, Matthew Ingram, Shelly Power, Scott Karp, Kent Newsome, Seth Finklestein and so on who can’t stop bleating about how nasty the A-List is. Shame on those big, old ‘net celebrities who only link to each other and won’t let any of these wannabes play in their reindeer games.

Take this Squash fool. Has to be the most selfish blogger in the entire blogosphere. Have a look at his most recent set of posts. Who does he link to? If he does actually bother to spare a link it’s for the likes of Scoble, Doc, Ingram, Karp, Arrington, etc. He’s hardly doing his part to open up the blogosphere to new voices, is he? Yet when he’s not taking cheap pot shots at the establishment he sits back and whines about the “closed blogosphere” and what not. What a total, utter toss pot. And by the way, he doesn’t know how to use punctuation either. Not so easy to pretend you can write, when you don’t have a sub-editor to fix up your crap, is it, journo-boy?

Browse your way down tech.memeorandum and it’s full of the wannabes pretending like they’re one of the big boys. Half of them have only been blogging for a matter of months and already they feel like it’s their divine right to have the A-Listers perform some really top-class felatio on them. Mind the teeth, please.

You can spot one of the Wannabe’s a mile away. Check out their About page and chances are they can’t help but grand-stand about how they’re really a big shot journalist, writer, analyst, media or dot com executive. In other words they’re used to having a big audience handed to them on a platter and now that they have to actually go out and earn a following, they can’t cop it.

Wannabe’s whinge about being outside of the establishment but they consistently link to it, hoping to pick up a couple of referral links to push their daily traffic into triple figures. You can also find them hanging out in the comments pages trying to trawl up some interest in their musings. They pretend to be critical of the A-List but then will also add “Not that this is meant to be critical”, just in case they actually offend some A-List sensibilities. Never know when you’re going want to a favour from one of those, boys.

They write loooooooonnnnnng analytical posts, because there are under the delusion that the more you write, the more interesting it is. Then they can’t work out why they haven’t got any comments or why people “just can’t understand what they’re really trying to say”. It’s because nobody can be bothered reading past the fourth par, you dick. You’d probably be a lot more interesting if you stopped spending your whole day blogging and actually went out and got a life.

tech.memeorandum used to be a really good read before they let the riff raff in. Please Gabe, shut the doors. Let’s just import Dave Winer’s OPML file and lock that in. God, if we wanted to read the ramblings of pseudo experts, we’d still be buying mainstream media.

Oh and just for good measure: Here’s a suggestion for the B-Listers. Link to one C-Lister every day, link to a D-Lister once a fortnight and just for charity’s sake, please link to an E-Lister once a year. Probably around Christmas time would be nice. They say the suicide rate of E-Listers around Christmas time is at its peak. The unfortunate reality is that Squash is fast running out of things to take the piss out of, so we really need to crack this blogosphere thing all the way open.

Filed under: Blogs, Piss take

14 Responses

  1. Wow, thanks Phil — I stopped reading after you called me a B-lister 🙂

  2. Adam Green says:

    “And so on”? I am not an “and so on”! I prefer to think of myself as an “aspiring A-lister.” Overall I’d give this post a B-. The message is on target, as are many of the details, but there are a number of stylistic problems:

    The overall tone is mixed between snark and whining wannabe. That is often a problem, as with Supr.c.ilio.us. If you want to be a snark, you have to stay nasty throughout, and being funny helps, if not at least be scatalogical.

    It is also confusing when you are trying to be snarky and self-deprecating at the same time. Snarks are are supremely confident that everyone but them are assholes.

    As to the sexual reference, metaphors when you don’t

  3. Adam Green says:

    (Oops, the page refreshed just at the good part. Let’s try that last paragraph again.)

    As to the sexual reference, metaphors work better than outright naming of the act. “Mind the teeth” by itself would be much more effective and funnier, because it would add the surprise factor. I also think you have the receiver and giver reversed. That may be a Brit thing.

  4. Scott Karp says:

    Oh, Phil, what have you gone and done here? Forgive me, but I’m going to have to apply the Cluestick:

    First. it’s a convenient rhetorical device to lump together diverse viewpoints as if they were all saying the same thing — it’s also utterly slipshod. I have never, EVER said that A-listers are “nasty” or disparaged the fact that they are A-listers (or B-listers or whatever). If you bothered to read my post that you cited — which you clearly didn’t, as you were in too much of a rush to get to your own grandstanding — you would see that I hold exactly the OPPOSITE view of the one you attribute to me. If you’re going to call people names, at least have the guts to quote them and point to precisely what it is you find so disagreeable.

    You clearly didn’t read Kent Newsome either, as he made fun of all this silliness, and I gave him a big fat hat tip in an update to my post (which, again, I’m sure you didn’t actually read). He at least had the class to call us out with humor rather than vituperation and crude sexual references (but then sex sells, doesn’t it?)

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, thanks to this inanity, I’ve already fallen off the wagon from my pledge to run screaming from this insanity. (I agree with Adam that your point is correct, but your execution gets a failing grade.)

  5. Phil Sim says:

    Matthew, I stopped reading your comment after Wow. I’m sure the rest of it, followed with similiarly effusive superlatives🙂

    Adam, thanks for the B-. I was really hoping for a B+ I promise to work on my consistent snarkiness, lack of humour, and sexual innuendos.

    Scott, thanks for the cluestick. BTW, I read your post, I read all your posts. I read Kent’s piece too. However, if you’d read Kent’s older pieces you’d know he’s been a “closed blogosphere” spruiker looooooon before the latest hooplah. Honestly, Scott, I don’t think there was any “vituperation” (get that one Peggy?). It was a piss-take from start to finish and was clearly tagged as such.

  6. Peggy says:

    Phil,
    Monday AM, EST and you are #2 (ahead of AtariBoy) on the WordPress.com rank. This is not a good sign. It is a fine line you are dancin’ here. Get your head out of the tag cloud.

    The fan base comfort level rank for Squash on WordPress is #7 or #8, maybe #6 on a slow day. Where is the old Phil, and what have you done with him?

  7. Peggy says:

    Phil,

    Got it, “vituperation”, my brain cells rejoice once again. Ok maybe a WP rank as high as #4 is OK too.

    I leave it to the rest of the ‘middle class’ Z-List to do their own look ups. Love it 🙂

  8. Phil Sim says:

    Peggy, the old Phil has been sent away to try and find more things that can be called poo. While, he’s away the new Phil is feverishly trying to make this thing self-explode but it only seems to be backfiring.

  9. Still laughing (and revising my About page). Well, after this post, nobody can argue anymore that there is no A-list! Slamming the B-listers is clear proof that there IS an A-list. Maybe people need to move beyond this. To quote another famed A-list wannabe: “We don’t want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward.”

  10. hope says:

    i try to find something at google.com and take it on your site…thanks

  11. wellburn says:

    I love this site. Good work…

  12. naisioxerloro says:

    Hi.
    Good design, who make it?

  13. […] is also huge. I have developed a great relationship with a bunch of other similarly situated bloggers. If not for this loose association, we would all be stranded alone out here at the end of the long […]

  14. […] bloggers reading bloggers thing certainly supports my Step No. 3, which means that even if we do make it off the B-List, we won’t get a tour […]

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