Phil Sim

Web, media, PR and… footy

Thankyou for coming to Squash 5

The Naked Blogging Squash party is now officially over. Wow, what a night! You might have noticed my lack of blogging in recent days. Seriously, it’s taken me that long to get over what has to go down as the best Web 2.0 party on record!

Yes, I know that we didn’t get like 500 Web 2.0 celebrities along to the Squash 5 gig, like TechCrunch did, but how many times do I have to tell people, especially all the women I’ve ever dated, that size simply doesn’t matter.

Squash 5 was designed to get all of the bloggers in my piss-ant little suburb of Schofields together to converse meaningfully about our respective start-ups, do a couple of demo’s and drink the 10 cases of VB that was donated by… well, me. Anyway, I showed up, so we well and truly suceeded in achieving our primary objective, plus I shipped in my mate, Bruce, from a neighbouring suburb who was keen to demonstrate his start-up, The Naked Blog.

We had planned to hold Squash 5 in my living room, but an unfortunate clash of schedules with my wife’s scrapbooking hen’s get-together, meant that we were relegated to the upstairs bathroom. In the end, it was probably a god-send that only me and Bruce showed up.

Anyway, we set out to down the 10 cases of VB, when Bruce declared it was time to demo Naked Blogging, which he declared to be the greatest Web 2.0 idea EVER! Frankly, I don’t think it’s going to fly. Basically, it consists of nuding up and then creating a blog, with the noble goal of helping Technorati boast that there are 372 zillion blogs in existence next time it produces its State of the Blogosphere report. I told him he had no chance of getting VC dollars unless it had tags built into it somewhere. I gave him a bunch of other consulting advice, explaining how it had to be read/write and really had to have a social aspect to it. He pointed out that two nude blokes, a laptop and a WiFi connection in a bathroom was a pretty social experience. However, we both agreed it wasn’t doing much for either of us so Bruce made a decision to end The Naked Blog even before it got to Beta.

In memory of The Naked Blog, we made the pact to keep our gear off and see just how many of the ten cases of VB we could knock off. We made a fair dent in them and discovered that having a piss-up in a bathroom actually had it’s advantages. I demoed Ourthority and Buyter. Bruce told me he didn’t get it. That’s alright, I told him, they’ve got tags.

Anyway, my wife called Squash 5 to an end when one of her scrapbooking girlfriends went to the wrong bathroom only to be confronted by two nude dudes passed out on the bathroom floor. She sent Bruce home and started asking me all manner of questions because she was getting a bit sus about this whole Web 2.0 thingy that was keeping me up to all hours in the morning. I started to explain how it was all about attention and gestures and then watched her eyes glaze over with disinterest. ‘Look, I don’t care, just make sure that the next party you have, you lock the bathroom door, ok?’. Who said Web 2.0 was good for nothing.

Anyway, I don’t think I’m going to invite Bruce to Squash 6 until he has a start-up that uses tags. It doesn’t do one’s Web 2.0 cred any good to network with people who aren’t higher up the food chain than you are. Unfortunately, Squash has clearly ascended to such a level that it does make it hard to find anyone that one should bother to network with. Well, in Schofields, anyway.

Filed under: Piss take

5 Responses

  1. Kenneth Jr says:

    The party sounds like it was a blast. Just one question: where can I buy the book? Scoble isn’t advertising it on his blog yet.

  2. Phil Sim says:

    We’re just getting ready to knock out the last few pages of Naked Blogging and Bruce tells me he’s already started on the prequel, The Nudetrain Manifesto. Bruce now reckons he can built tags into this thing after all, and we now reckon it might be a goer. I might have to invite him to Squash 6 after all.

  3. Bruce says:

    Thanks Napfisk, it’s so rare to find someone who can appreciate, non-conformist genius.

  4. Caitlin says:

    Is this a true story? This is SO you. 😉

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