Google tipped to hit a million

** TRANSCRIPT **

Welcome to the Web 2.0 Wocks podcast. I’m Elmer FUD and if you’ve been keeping your eye on tech news you may have noticed the extreme valuations some analysts have been putting on Google of late. Today we speak to yet another “relatively obsure” Wall Street analyst Mr. Squash, who has upped the ante on how high people think Google’s stock might climb. Mr. Squash, you think Google will keep going North.

Mr. Squash: Absolutely, I’m tipping one million dollars within the next six months.

FUD: That’s insane. What couple possibly makes you say that?

Mr. Squash: I’ve not had a lot of press lately. Even the blogosphere keeps ignoring me. I was about to tip $1000, but then some yokel came along and high-balled me at $2000. I won’t make that mistake again.

FUD: So you’re prediction isn’t based on any sound financial metrics

Mr. Squash: Oh absolutely. I’ve taken the current valuation and adjusted it based on the strength of Google’s CES announcements.

FUD: You mean Google Video?

Mr. Squash: No, Google Pack. We believe it’s game-changing.

FUD: How’s that?

Mr. Squash: Well, I can’t really go into specifics due to commercial-in-confidence but Google chose to announce it at its CES Keynote so it must be HUGE right? Also, I’ve had “discussions” with a guy who used to be a famous tech columnist and he’s backed up our confidence in Google Pack, as a paradigm-changing initiative.

FUD: But Isn’t Google Pack just a bunch of freeware cobbled together in a lame attempt to pretend that Microsoft doesn’t have monopoly control over the Internet.

Mr. Squash: You might call it lame, we call it game-changing.

FUD: Why is that?

Mr. Squash: It gets attention.

FUD: Thank you Mr. Squash for your time.

Mr. Squash. Anytime. And I mean anytime. Day or night. I can pretty much make comment on any issue, big or small, even if my firms have absolutely no idea what we’re talking about. We have a lot of experience in doing exactly that, you know.

Squash could not afford to pay its hosting fees, so you can’t click here to listen to this fictitious podcast.

Filed under: Piss take